


Never Leave Me

by ateventide



Category: Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/stay night - All Media Types
Genre: Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Sad Ending, Threats of Gun Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-16 09:06:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17546741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ateventide/pseuds/ateventide
Summary: Her nightmare was finally over.Warning: Depressing





	Never Leave Me

**Author's Note:**

> A random idea that spurned a one shot- inspired by angsty TV! No set timeline- though obviously verges from all routes right in the beginning.  
> Also you saw the tags- this will not end well. 
> 
> Grammer mistakes will be abound

* * *

 

To say, that Tohsaka Rin never thought she’d be in this situation was an understatement. A strong lineage and genetics had made life enormously easier for her. A strong magic lineage meant letting her conduct her own business with relatively little interference except for that pesky priest. Genetics meant she was blessed with the intelligence and looks to easily fool an entire school. No need to look further past the school idol facade. It was more than a lot of people had. Even her future was fairly assured at the Clocktower.

Rin knew her purpose in life; more or less.

It was more than _she_ ever had. Logically, Rin knew their futures weren’t meant to be together. Their parents had made sure of that. There could only be one heir. It was the way of the magi. They weren’t supposed to love like that. It would just distract her from the true goal of the great Tohsaka family. At least that's what she told herself and some days she even believed it.

So, to say that Tohsaka Rin had buried the feelings of love and sisterhood six feet under; it wasn’t a lie. It laid there along with the bodies of their parents.

Perhaps that was her fatal flaw. She tried to bury her feelings, tried to ignore and even outrun them. The world moved on. So why did it feel like she was always standing still. Stuck in time, unable to truly move forward and unable to change the past.

What was it that people said?

The sins of the father are to be laid upon the children.

Wasn’t that the God’s honest truth?

Tohsaka Rin’s eyes took in the scene before her. For all her bluster and false bravado, she didn’t think it’d ever come to this. To be fair though, Rin had never let herself to pretend it could ever be any other way. Maybe there was a world where things were different but that wasn’t her reality. And perhaps there was a person who lived for forgotten dreams but that wasn’t her. Raising her eyes, she felt the dread coiling in her stomach.

“...why am I here?” Rin asked softly.

It was a rhetorical question; of course. They both knew it. They both knew that Rin would feel the mana and power that practically exploded from the school earlier and coming running. And she did. Ready to fight. But Rin didn’t expect this. The sudden hollowness that crashed into her when she crossed into school grounds. It was as if someone had taken all the color out of the world. Grey and listless. As if there wasn’t enough air for her to breathe. No, Rin did not expect to be cut off from her magic. No servant, no magic - just a girl. All in all, Rin had still expected Caster. So to say the shock and horror of seeing the unconscious bodies of her fellow students was one thing.

But to see Sakura standing there; holding a gun was something she would have never imagined.

“...You know, I can’t remember if our parents loved me. They gave me away so easily so they must not have, but I think….I think you tried to love me. Or at least you wanted too” Sakura swayed unsteadily as one pale hand clutched the gun.

Violet eyes met blue. Another reminder of a life that was never to be.

“Sakura, why are you doing this?”

“Tohsaka- senpai, I bet it surprised you. Grandfather taught me so many things…”Sakura’s voice cracked as she held the gun to her chest. “..so many terrible things. I knew though, it would take a lot to create a null void. To keep servants out and to render you- powerless. So you could know for once how it felt…”

Rin didn’t say anything. She didn’t trust herself too. She felt sick to her stomach. To be so far off about the sigils and the bounded field around the school and town but most of all how Sakura had orchestrated it all. Had they really diverged so far apart? Did it really have to come to this?

“...I wanted you to love me. But that things that I did….that **HE** made me do...that I wanted…..and finally the war came and I thought I had a chance! That it would finally stop but it didn’t.”Sakura’s eyes filled with tears as she stumbled closer to Rin.

“We can fix this, Sakura. Just give me the gun” Rin kept her voice steady, eyes focused on Sakura. Mentally willing for Sakura to look in her eyes and see she was telling her the truth. Rin would fix this. She would devote her life to fixing the mistake their father made so many years ago. No matter what the cost. She swore it on her life.

Sakura shook her head violently. “At that moment I knew. The reason you didn’t come. That I wasn’t worthy. I would never be worthy- not to you, not even to him, not to anyone.”

For a moment Rin hesitated. She had never said these words aloud before-even alone but Sakura needed to hear it. 

“...There hasn't been a day that's gone by that I don’t wish that I could change it all. I wish I could take it all back. I really do." Rin paused."Sakura, you’re the only person in this world that I love.”

“Just not enough to hold on! You didn’t hold on! You let them give me away!” Sakura shrieked.

“ I was just a child when they took you. I couldn’t do anything!”

“ **AND I WASN’T?** Every night I prayed every day that you would come. To save me.”

“Sakura, I couldn’t have defeated Zouken.” Rin felt helpless. More than she had in her entire life. What could she say that could make this better? What could she do? There wasn’t enough words she could say to try to soothe the pain that ravaged her sister. 

“Then you should have **DIED** trying!” Tears streamed down Sakura's face as she choked on her words “You just let them give me away...Maybe you loved me but it wasn’t enough, was it?”

Rin opened her arms as she inched forward.

“You’re right. I didn’t come for you." Rin said almost to herself before raising her chin."Sakura, nothing in this world is how I wanted it to be for you. It’s harsh and cruel. The strong prey on the weak and we all turn a blind eye. We shouldn’t have to pay for the mistakes of other people but we do. We pay until there's nothing left. No words will ever express how sorry I am. I can never take back the time stolen from us. But we can start over. I promise. Sakura, I promise. ” Rin pleaded.

Sakura held the gun up “ **DO NOT SAY YOUR SORRY**! It doesn’t fix anything! One look in 10 years. A real look. That’s all it would have taken. You would have seen me screaming for help!” Sakura shook her head. “No, it’s too late. It’s all too late.”

Sakura bowed her head for a moment before looking up at her.

“It’s all just a lie. You wouldn’t even be here if I didn’t force you to be! It’s all lies. You can’t save me. You can’t be saved at all.” Sakura closed her eyes, her arms falling slack to her sides.

Rushing forward, Rin wrapped her arms against her sister’s trembling form. Sakura felt boneless in her arms. As if she had nothing left. No words, no will, no strength. 

“....Oh...my beautiful little sister.” Rin placed a soft kiss on Sakura’s forehead.“I really do love you.”

Sakura eyes suddenly were wide open with shock and pain, Rin's arms supporting her as they slid to the floor. The sound of Sakura’s gun and the bloody Azoth dagger clattered to the floor. Rin’s eyes were so very blue. It reminded her of a flowers in the summer rain. Rin took Sakura's hand and held it to her cheek. She gave Sakura a watery smile as she held her. Sakura could see the darkness slowly edging around her vision but it didn’t matter. Her nightmare was finally over.

**Author's Note:**

> I changed the bounded field to a null void to suit my purposes- can't imagine no one's ever not used one. 
> 
> I wanted to note that since this would have happened early in all routes that Sakura(probably) would be the only person Rin felt she truly loved(albeit far away). And I think if Rin was going to fight, I would imagine she'd bring her arsenal. 
> 
> I wrote most of this in one afternoon but kept tweaking some parts. Faced with the broken mind, spirit and body of her sister, I'd think Rin could do it especially if they both thought she was too far gone to. In any case, Sakura had already made up her mind on what outcome was going to happen. 
> 
> Suicide Prevention Hotline(USA) 1-800-273-8255
> 
> I know guns are hard to get in Japan but in my head- I sorta imagined Zouken taking them as prizes off some Magus Killers he killed or you know loophole magic.
> 
> Since this is depressing- I sorta might write a happier story featuring the two.


End file.
